Coaching the Unseen

Helping Leaders See What They Cannot See

I was recently asked if I had ever thought about writing an on-demand video curriculum to teach people how to coach themselves. It’s an intriguing idea. As coaches, I am sure we have all employed our own coaching skills to work our own problems from time to time—and we have probably seen great success in doing so. Sure, I have had the thought before. In fact, I am in the process of writing two different self-coaching resources. While we call them “self-coaching,” they really are not true coaching at all. As coaches, we know coaching to be a co-equal partnership between the coach and client. We also see the immediate obstacle that our coaching skills, again, attempt to circumvent… Blind spots.

When self-coaching, how does one see past blind spots? While on occasion, we might have those mind-blowing aha moments that we love to see in our clients, they are probably the exception. Maybe that’s just me. Either way, the other side of blind spots is awareness.

Most of us in the Assemblies of God Coaching organization coach leaders. Many of us specifically coach a lot of pastors and church leaders. Most leaders are highly self-aware… until they’re not.

In addition to coach, I am also an Ordained Minister. As leaders, we don’t always like to admit we have blind spots. If we admit to them, are we capable? Should we be pastoring people? This “weakness” causes us to question our calling.

Most blind spots in leadership are not signs of weakness. I submit that blind spots are simply opportunities for growth. For those of us that coach pastors and ministry leaders, this changes everything! If we coach from blind spots as deficiencies, we will coach from correction and the client will be coming from shame. However, if we approach blindspots as growth invitations, we will coach from a place of formation and the client may adopt a growth mindset.

After all, coaching is not simply about solving problems. It is about shaping people.

Perhaps the blind spot is born out of strength. Perhaps the very strength that helped to build the leadership platform they serve in is now limiting growth. This is not a weakness, it is a strength that has reached a new height beyond the leader’s awareness.

• Decisiveness becomes control
• Compassion becomes avoidance
• Vision becomes impatience
• High capacity becomes over-functioning

Blind spots and lack of awareness in church leaders can create problems at all levels… from visitors all the way up to the top. What important pieces must we consider as coaches to evoke awareness and cultivate growth?

Of course it doesn’t hurt that we’re taught from day one of coaching school the importance of believing the client is competent, capable, resourceful and whole. When we set this tone and make that space for our client, the walls and defenses can come down as the trust and safety builds.

Rethinking Blind Spots

A blind spot is not inherently a moral failure (though it could lead to one), nor is it necessarily sin. It is not incompetence.

A blind spot could be described as a strength, preference, or adaptive pattern operating outside of awareness that now hinders our effectiveness or connection to others.

The key word is adaptive. At some point, the thought pattern or behavior made sense. It was probably even accurate.

• The micro-managing pastor had learned that things only got done if he/she did them.
• The visionary leader who dominates meetings learned that clarity accelerates progress.
• The shepherding pastor who avoids confrontation learned that harmony preserves unity.

Early on in their career, these patterns not only made sense but contributed to their success. But what once served the leader can eventually constrain them. Blind spots are not evidence that something is broken; they are evidence of opportunity to grow. They are not character flaws; they are invitations to that growth opportunity.

As coaches, it is critical that we create a safe, non-judgmental space for our clients to grow.

From Problem-Solving to Person-Shaping

Let’s lay some groundwork.

I don’t simply want to help my client solve a problem; I want to help my client grow to become the person who has the solution to their problem.

As new coaches, we were taught a more transactional approach to coaching. Even after years of coaching, it can still sometimes be tempting to treat the problem like a mechanical issue that just needs to be fixed.

The presenting problem feels urgent. And sometimes it is.

• A key staff member resigns.
• A whole team complains of micro-management.
• A relationship with an influential board member is strained.

If we only address the issues that are rising to the surface, we may solve the immediate tension, but the deeper pattern that led to the presenting problem remains untouched… waiting to create another issue at the surface. This is where how we show up as coaches matters.

Problem-solving coaching is tactical. It’s transactional. Person-shaping coaching is transformational.

Problem-solving asks: “How do we fix this situation?”

Person-shaping asks: “Who do you need to become to lead this well?”

When we operate from the place where the client is capable, resourceful and whole, we resist the urge to fix the immediate issue and have an opportunity to go deeper where awareness of the blindspot may be found by the client. Suddenly, it will make sense why that staff member resigned or an emergency board meeting was called. It may have been obvious to you, the coach, all along; but in the discovery, the client can choose to grow into the space blocked by the blind spot.

We are not mechanics. We are cultivators.

Trust & Safety

Ask any pastor and most will tell you they feel like they live in a place of constant visibility. It is common to feel evaluated every Sunday afternoon right on into Monday. Sometimes, that evaluation mode can feel like it runs right through the week. Rarely do pastors or leaders feel safe to be vulnerable and transparent.

As coaches, it is our responsibility to cultivate trust and safety; and with leaders or anyone that may feel constantly evaluated, we must be extra intentional. Without it, even the most accurate observations may feel like judgements or accusations.

• Confidentiality must be explicit.
• Judgement must be absent.
• Curiosity must be genuine.

Leaders are more willing to be vulnerable and examine growth opportunities when they believe they are not being evaluated.

Spotting the Blind Spots

For obvious reasons, you’ll probably never hear a client tell you about their blind spot. Instead, they show up as recurring friction.

• "I don't understand why my staff won't take initiative.”
• “I feel like I have to carry everything.”
• “People say I'm intimidating, but I'm just being clear.”

When we listen actively—not just to content, but also patterns—we will begin to hear repetition and see that it might not simply be a one-time presenting problem, but a blind spot revealing an opportunity to grow.

Even the highly emotionally intelligent leader can lose awareness when emotionally charged. We can see the patterns in others plain as day, but completely miss it in our own lives. King David was an emotional guy. I have to think it took an outstanding emotional intelligence to galvanize an army of angry and disgruntled warriors. Yet, it took “Coach Nathan” holding up the mirror for him to see the mess he had created with Bathsheba.

Strong emotional charge around specific topics often signals strength under pressure or on the edge of capacity.

• The decisive leader may become anxious with uncertain outcomes.
• The compassionate leader may feel threatened with strained or fractured relationships.
• The visionary may feel suffocated by process.

Rather than attacking the presenting issues as problems to solve, what does it look like to begin with curiosity about the person, rather than the problem?

• What happens inside you when that situation unfolds?
• What is important for you to protect in that moment?
• What do you hope others experience when you respond that way?

These types of questions will evoke inward awareness for the leader without accusation. Most leaders do not intend to dominate, avoid, or control. Intention does not always translate to impact. Helping leaders to explore that gap is priceless. In a ministry setting, that awareness translated to growth and action has tremendous benefit.

Insight Into Action

Awareness without action is not a recipe for transformation. It doesn’t even complete a coaching session. Transformation comes when the leader applies what they've learned from this new awareness. Once a blind spot has been identified, the next step is integration. This is where facilitating growth becomes something very practical.

• What new behavior will you experiment with this week?
• Who can offer feedback on how this lands?
• What will you pay attention to internally when the trigger appears?

Of course, the leader needs to design what this looks like in their everyday so that there is a deep level of ownership and commitment in the action plan.

As coaches, we love to see that big aha moment where the lightbulb goes on and fireworks fall from the sky, but it doesn’t always happen. In my experience, it’s the exception. Growth is rarely dramatic. It's iterative.

• The controlling leader may practice asking one more question before offering direction.
• An avoidant leader might initiate that difficult conversation.
• The visionary might write out the steps as a to-do list for finishing the project.

This is where the most growth potential happens. New growth begets new growth. Before you know it, your client has been transformed and his/her world view is shifting. I draw your attention to the man who was taught to fish. He ate for a lifetime.

The Courage to Build People

It is faster to fix problems than to form people. It is much easier to give advice than to evoke awareness. If we limit coaching to solving problems on the surface, true growth and life-change may not happen. Blind spots will continue to be blind because we, as coaches, did not coach the person. We will have robbed our client of deeper transformation.

Blind spots are not an indicator of inadequacy. They are evidence of unfinished growth. Unfinished growth is not failure. It is opportunity.

The real question is not, “How do we eliminate blind spots?”

It is, “How do we help leaders and pastors become the people who see their blind spot, learn and grow?”

When we do that, the problems that once felt overwhelming begin to resolve—not because we solved them, but because the leader grew to become the person that has the solution.

Bryce Moltumyr, ACC, AG3, CCC, CPT, CNC, is a Life and Leadership Development Coach dedicated to helping leaders grow with clarity, integrity, and purpose. He serves as the Assistant Director of AG Coaching, co-founded Handcrafted Life with his wife, Jill, and is the owner of InVision Leadership Coach Training School (Level 2). Bryce is also a Certified Personal Trainer and Certified Nutrition Coach. With all these tools, he equips coaches, pastors, and ministry leaders with practical tools for personal growth and healthy, sustainable, and effective leadership.